For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. / O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? (Rom 7, 18.24)

The same settled conditions that Abraham experienced in his camp until the birth of Isaac, Paul discovered in his spiritual experience. Until the light from on high shone on him, he knew who he was, where he was going, things fit together and made sense to him. What he had been taught was right; it was confirmed to him both by the theses of his teachers and then by his own experience. Thus what he believed became the unshakable anchor of his life. Through this prism, he saw in the world a twofold people: those (the true) who live by the Law, and those who do not, because they have not grown up to it. But since they are not Jews, there is no point in even trying to raise them to these heights; they do not belong to them. Out of these two categories elude the adherents of the certain sect, who, though they do not live in any barbarous manner, pervert the Law, and, above all, spread their doctrine unrestrainedly, which therefore must be prevented.

Paul's personal experience of the struggle he had between the inclination of his own nature and holiness, between the flesh and the spirit, is universally valid and transcends the ages. But the interesting question is: when was it that he saw that goodness did not abide in him? When did he actually exclaim "what a wretched man I am"?

Obviously, he understood this at the moment when the light shone upon him and he was born from above. That is, when his Isaac came into the world. From that moment when God touched his innermost being, he recognized in himself a discord which he had previously suspected, but had been unwilling to acknowledge to that extent or to see its depth: "HOW... (how unspeakably) wretched a man am I!" No, this was not a sentence the Pharisees used to say of themselves. For their Law served them as a mask of arrogance, a label of self-righteousness.

It is mind-boggling to think of the hostility toward Christ that arose because he tore down this mask, so that they led him to the cross. As a result, Christ was hated and killed, not for what He did, but for who He was. Man's inner strife between flesh and spirit, between Ishmael and Isaac, is really no theoretical thing.