So God was with the lad; and he grew and dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer. He dwelt in the Wilderness of Paran; and his mother took a wife for him from the land of Egypt. (Gen 21,20-21)

A person moves through life on a trajectory that is determined by his or her strongest character traits. We can imagine them physically as forces that impact an object and make it move in a certain direction, or, more poetically, as strings that pull a person somewhere, often without him being directly aware of it. Since these are features of his own nature, it seems quite natural to him that his path turns wherever he is drawn.

Once a man comes to know God, many things change. New standards will be set above what he naturally inclines to.  "New forces" or, if you like, "new strings" are involved. From that  moment on, choices are made between the old and the new, sometimes in  the form of hard-fought struggles over who is with whom.

We don't  know much about the practical life of Ishmael and Hagar beyond the above two sentences, except perhaps that Scripture later states that Ishmael grew into a nation. But one cannot help but notice a striking difference in the way life decisions are made in case of Ishmael or  Isaac. What efforts were later made to make sure that Isaac finds the right woman who was not to be from the surrounding nations. After all, it is primarily the women who determine the inner disposition of the family. Moreover, they often brought a form of godliness from their original tribe. Therefore, Abraham gave the choice of a wife for Isaac entirely to God and asked Him for a miraculous act. Scripture describes this in detail in Gen 25.

Ishmael was violent in character, and  became an archer. They lived in Paran near Egypt, so his mother gave him a woman from the area, for that was her nation. Not that these choices were in themselves a sin. However, the trajectories of Ishmael´ and Isaac´s lives and that of their descendants diverged more and more over time as other forces, other "strings" were at work. Abraham no longer wanted  to make only natural choices. He wanted to involve his God in them. He desired that Isaac would later also take up his spiritual heritage, his faith in a unique God and the path that Abraham walked in God's presence.  Therefore, he urgently dealt with God in making decisions  about Isaac's life (which, as Gen 25 shows, was quite a struggle) and did not let things run their course.

If there is anything to be learned from Abraham's life, it is in this regard.

And it came to pass at that time that Abimelech and Phichol, the commander of his army, spoke to Abraham, saying, “God is with you in all that you do". (Gen 21,22)

Abimelech did not know a personal God. One who would speak to him and have a relationship with him, one who would demand not only sacrifice, but obedience, coupled with a search for the highest possible way. With the gods he knew, "devotion to the brand" and sacrifice were enough. So he could not understand at all how Abraham approached his God and experienced the pursuit of Him. Abimelech knew nothing like that.

He therefore understood Abraham's religion only in this ver pragmatical light. Yes, God was indeed with Abraham in all that he did, but if we know something about the pursuit of Him, then unlike Abimelech, we will have to insert here "finally". God is finally with you in everything you do, Abraham. After all the years that you have been learning to follow him, which has not always been easy for you, sometimes you have strayed from the path and had to seek it again.

Abimelech understood that the gods could bless a man, make him prosper, but he did not understand that with the Lord of Abraham there exist two kind of blessing: a blessing bestowed and a blessing acquired. The bestowed is that which one receives freely from above, completely without merit. Parents give good gifts to their children, those that go the good way and those that often cause wrinkles on their foreheads. God likewise "lets his sun shine on the good and the bad" (Mt 5:45), or, referring to God's children, blesses them because of their sonship. This does not necessarily mean, however, that they are always choosing the best possible path in life.

I will use the analogy of a farmer who gives his children what they need from his abundant harvest. That is the blessing bestowed. But when the farmer considers that the time has come to pass on his farm to the heir, then it is not enough for the potential heir to meet the single criterion of being his child. He must be willing to learn from the farmer, to deny himself, to work and to know how to do things, or he will bring the whole farm and all its people to collapse. He who is willing to enter such a school and be taught by his father will then be able to enjoy gifts far greater than he would have had as a mere son, and he will be able to bless others from them.

This is an acquired blessing. It comes when God can say to a man, "Now I know I can trust you."