So Pharaoh commanded his men concerning him; and they sent him away, with his wife and all that he had. (Gen 12,20)

How proudly Abram's caravan swaggered towards the capital as it entered Egypt! People stopped and paid attention to their wagons, cattle, number of people, all cargo - and they knew that Abram did not come to them as a beggar, but rather as an important guest. He needs their country as a refuge now, but he is bringing his wealth, he will buy in our markets and will need other services. Such guests were always welcome, the door was open for them.

And with what shame Abram was returning back... The news of what happened has spread around - something so peppery had not happened in Egypt for a long time for Pharaoh himself to be humbled by this alien's lie. Abram now noticed that the same people stopped by and looked at him with indignation and contempt. It seemed to him that not only the people, but perhaps also the trees by the road, the animals and the birds, were chirping about his bad reputation: expel him for ever!

The caravan fell silent along the way. They told each other only the most necessary directions for the journey, and the children did not show the usual joy, as if the seriousness of the moment had fallen on them as well. There was a tense silence between Sarah and Abram.

That alone was enough to make Abram deeply depressed, but he was also busy with a strange thing. He did not know his new God until he was seventy. He thought that at this age he already knew what life and religion were all about, because, like everyone else, he had cultivated it all his life. But he found out that he had changed inside since he had accepted his new God. Now he takes the shame he has experienced far more personally than before. Moreover, he has got the impression that he failed not only before Egypt and his surroundings, but that God is very personally interested in his life and actions, as if he were connected in some special way to his conscience. It was different than he had experienced before - with the idols, the rather impersonal observance of the required rituals and several regulations was enough. But now, as a worshiper of the invisible God, he stood before him a bit like an open book, and God seemed very sensitive to the attitudes of Abram's heart.

Moreover, his shame can be disreditting the reputation of this God before the world around. Abram increasingly felt like his ambassador in the world. He couldn't help but be surprised at how much he was bothered by his failure in this sense as well - if the Egyptians rebuked him for his actions, wouldn't the shadow of shame fall also on his God?

He realized clearly that his religion had never touched him so deep inside before, it had never been so personal.