Now when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed his three hundred and eighteen trained servants who were born in his own house, and went in pursuit as far as Dan. (Gen 14,14)
I wrote that Abram noticed certain changes that had taken place inside him since he followed his new God. He had never really heard of any inward changes experienced by worshipers of idols. There was nothing like that with them, perhaps just religious zeal and not neglecting bringing sacrifices.
For the time being, Abram did not become stronger in faith, but rather weaker. He found out that on this journey it was not enough to make every effort to grasp his persuasions, that what God pleases simply transcends a man and he often cannot act from his own strength. For example, the generosity towards Lot, which was so richly rewarded by God - he realized that he would probably not have behaved like this on his own before. After all, life experience showed him that the one who could not take what the opportunity offered was left empty-handed in the end. But he found out that on the path of faith, it was quite the opposite.
People who do not know the Christian faith and God's power to change their hearts believe that Christianity is about playing a kind of pious role. Trying to be nice, compliant, always kind (like someone free of all testosterone). But playing a role, even if someone accepts it voluntarily, is not an internal change, but an external one. It is the clothing of a coat or rather a jacket that paralyzes a person so that his gross qualities are not manifested. After a while, this grip breeds frustration, despondency, and hidden aggression, the need to sublimate the repressed mental life into things that religion forbids — a futile circle of defeat, guilt, and persistent efforts for change that does not occur.
Abram found out that he should rather be able to let certain things go and not enforce them, that he would receive more from God through expectation, faith. But the moment he learned that Lot had been captured, he immediately, at full risk, rushed to his rescue without thinking long. In this event the life of Lot, Abram and their families was at stake. It was probably the first time that Abram had gone into a war in which he could have perished in a moment.
His determination is admirable - he risks everything for the person who did not treat him best. How is it possible that he became less determined in one area ... but no less determined in another? If Abram took on those pious roles in the pursuit to become a worthy person, if his transformation did not come from the inside out, we would see in him a man whose strength is stewed, a lame man, incapable of action. But his transformation was different, characteristic of all the followers of God: he became a lamb where he had been a goat before, and a lion where he had used to be rather timid.
Sometimes he had the impression that he did not fully know himself anymore. However, the moment he set out with his men against the attackers, he had no thoughts of the kind.
