And Abraham said to God, “Oh, that Ishmael might live before You!” (Gen 17,18)

After the birth of Ishmael, Abram was internally divided. He clung to him, and as he grew (and while he was a tender child) he loved him more and more, as only a man in old age can cling to his only offspring. He felt in his heart that he was thus somewhat departing from God - the child of Sarah by God's promise, or the child of Hagar, whom he had acquired by his own efforts - these were two different worlds, and he had to choose in which he would abide. It was simply not possible to connect them and be in both at the same time because they were mutually exclusive.

In the early years after Ishmael's birth, therefore, Abram both missed and did not quite miss God. He had had his abundance of earthly blessings, and now he was finally fulfilling the last need he felt in this world. He switched into "God didn't give me a child, so it's a good thing I at least have Ishmael" inward mode. He sensed the silence that now fell towards him from God's side. But he was also aware of another thing that he didn't want to admit out loud at first... namely that he might not even want God to visit him again. If that were to happen, he would feel very ashamed before Him, and more importantly, the situation in his family would become extremely complicated.

But as Ishmael grew and his confrontational nature became apparent, he found himself secretly despairing at times. That's when his confidence began to crumble, and he began to be prepared to change his mind in his heart and, despite what he had done with Hagar, to accept God's Word for himself so that it could "become flesh."

So God did not come to him by accident after thirteen years, his silence lasted until there was no point in breaking it. But when He finally came, everything was turned upside down. Abram had already secretly doubted about Ishmael, but such a great change of mind, the loss of the only security he had had so far, the complete change of life setting, it was all too much for him at once. So he offers Ishmael to God ("may Ishmael live near you!"), his most precious treasure, which he cannot yet give up in his heart.

Every man must sometimes choose between the near certainties and the distant better way. The proverb about the bird in the hand being worth two in the bush is 100% true in life; but it is not quite true in God's way. There, the distant one is more important: our journey, according to Christ's words, begins with the loss of the certain in favor of the eternal. "For whoever would preserve his life...".

Abram, like us, tended to grasp the near certainties and leave the distant blessings to the dreamers. What is certain, however, is that if he had not changed his mind, he would never have become the Father of faith.
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Personal note from the author: I write these reflections twice a week (mostly on Saturdays and Wednesdays) and hope to be able to continue for long - there is a lot in Abraham story still worth seeing! But it is a matter of time / energy as I am not a full-time minister. What my time/energy is no more sufficient to, is the promotion of this blog. Therefore, if you find these articles helpful, just consider sharing the link with others who may also be interested. Thank you!