Then they said to him, “Where is Sarah your wife?” So he said, “Here, in the tent.” (Gen 18,9)
Someone remarked that when God asks a man a question, it is not because he does not know the answer. After all, during their long wait, the messengers must have noticed, or at least heard, that Sarah was preparing a meal for them. So the question "where is she" means something else. It is strikingly reminiscent of the first question asked of a man, "Where are you?"
Where we are seems to have a special meaning for God. But not in the sense of place, whether in the house or in the garden. It is a question about our spiritual state. A mother in danger asks: where are the children? But at that moment, the most important thing is not the place, but whether they are all right. So God asks man whether he is where his true destination is, or whether he is straying.
Abraham lived in a spiritually divided marriage. It does not appear that Sarah encouraged him in anything regarding following God, quite the opposite. She was even a source of temptation to him when she urged him to beget a son for her and Hagar. Thus, Abraham's faith plunged him into a certain inner loneliness even within his own family. It was not because God had willed such a fate for him. It was so because there was no escape. Sarah did not long for God as he did.
Two people living close together, even having a nice relationship with each other - and yet what an unprecedented difference. Abraham immediately recognized God's messengers in the newcomers and welcomed the opportunity to honor them. Sarah preferred to remain in the tent. Of course, she had a plenty to do; but she does not go out even for a while because her heart is not transformed to joyfully bear the light of the heavenly messengers.
Abraham and Sarah had a good relationship, understood each other in many ways, were faithful to each other, and experienced together many precious moments. But they still did not have full understanding in the most important things. For spiritual blindness cannot be overcome by other than spiritual means. Relationships, no matter how good and purposefully built, are not enough to do this, just as they alone cannot create true spiritual unity.
