But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided?’ (L 12,20)

When Lot reflected on his life - and he had a lot of time to do so in the cave - did he finally understand why he ended up the way he did? Had he come to an epiphany? We don't know. We have no news of his next steps; we have no idea if he might have tried to do the most logical thing and go back to Abraham. It's just that Lot was once very wealthy, with a corresponding position, and now he would have to come as a loser and ask for help. He knew he would not be rejected, for Abraham had already saved him once without his asking. But human pride can be immeasurable and often very illogical. Its greatest pain is not death, but humiliation. If Lot realized that he had a decisive part in the break with Abraham at the time, and that it was a mistake, then surely he is not the only one who finds it impossible to throw himself on the mercy of the one against whom he feels guilty. For he would confess it by his deed, and that is something which many of them will not permit ("better die than bow").

The interesting question is, whether Lot figured out that it was worth it to go unconditionally God's way in life? Because it usually doesn't seem so at the beginning of the journey! It seems more difficult and fraught with complications, to think through the rightness, wrongness of one's actions, to be mindful of morality, to not overstep the bounds of what is acceptable. Then there is always a quicker, easier and more tempting way. We've used that analogy several times: Abraham's way was upward, to the heights, it meant climbing against the natural forces of gravity, overcoming adversity. Lot, on the other hand, descended to the lowlands of Sodom and enjoyed the comfort it immediately gave him - for work and for life. In terms of what he expected from life, it worked out great, but only up to a point. Who knows if at the end of his life, in the dark cave, he said to himself that pithy word from Jesus' parable: "You fool"?

The whole Bible has it that following God really does pay off in the end, but beware: only in retrospect, and sometimes seen only from the side of eternity. The moment we choose God's way, we usually don't see it as a factual benefit, but a complication of sorts - others who are not guided by anything higher have it easier. It is interesting that this question is addressed without change by people of all ages, just as King David once did in Psalm 73: "Have I then in vain kept a pure heart, and washed my hands with innocence...? I wondered how to make sense of it all; it seemed impossible. It was only when I entered the sanctuary of God that I understood what end they would take." (Ps 73,13.16-17)

And there's an even more interesting question: in this sense, how might Abraham now have viewed Lot and his life? He still did not have the promised son, only a growing faith. Did he think it was good to follow God (anyway) or was he still doing it primarily for what it was going to bring him?